Husband & Wife

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife
====================
Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did
notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me
to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because
I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all
of this, I still loved you and fel t that we could work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you
have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your
letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

WHAT MEN AND WOMEN REALLY MEANS

What a woman say and what she really means

I need - I want
It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want - You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk - I need to complain
I'm not upset - Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?
Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? - I did something today that you're really going to hate.
You have to learn to communicate - Just
Yes - No
No - No
Maybe - No
I'm sorry - You'll be sorry
Is my butt fat? - Tell me I'm beautiful

======================

What a man say and what he really means

Do you want to go to a movie? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Would you like to dance? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! - Nice cleavage!
Yes, I love your new hairstyle - I liked it better before
I like the first dress you tried on better - Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!

How to make a woman happy

It is "NOT" difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. generous
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
3. Hand over the remote

26 Beautiful One-liners

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.

6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.

9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. We don't change God's message - His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God! But only in an advisory position.

16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.

18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.

25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called...

26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.

FROGS

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"




The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!






At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?




A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!






The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be

negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!

Pass this message on to 5 "tiny frogs" you care about.

Give them some motivation!!!


Most people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart
In two days tomorrow will be yesterday. Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for writing to you... I have no news to tell you.... nor any problems to discuss with you.... or gossip to tell you... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of you... and I would like to share these thoughts with you...
MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...



To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.

You have been Tagged by the Froggy, which means you are a great friend!!

36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of ad-vice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between
despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most.
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general
manager of the universe.
35. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

His plan

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner. I like
planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.

But some things are beyond planning. And life doesn't always turn out
as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful. You plan to be acclaimed and
successful. You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved
forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world


You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered. Sometimes if
you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times,
what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.
Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans - especially
when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God
sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger.
True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishe
s us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that
God will never abandon us nor send something
we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of
ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can
learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.

going bananas

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a
banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose
combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and
substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two
bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No
wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading
athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can
also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and
conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst
people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating
a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of
protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you
relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains re
gulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemog
lobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in pot
assium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So
much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the
banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to
reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were h
elped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast,
break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has
shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making
pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help
restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without
resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make
a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the
stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood
sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if
you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep b
lood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try
rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many
people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and
irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous
system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in A
ustria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like
chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients,
researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-
pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced
food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking
on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal d
isorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only
raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler
cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by
coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling"
fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of
expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat
bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers b
ecause they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. Th
e B6,
B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in
them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the
heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water
balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby
reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help
of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medic
ine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of
death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to
kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the
wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place
with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for mny ills. When you
compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the
carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A
and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich
in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its
time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a
day keeps the doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I
will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE
of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry
cloth. Amazing fruit.

Say, Thank You By Oprah Winfrey

I live in the space of thankfulness - and I have been rewarded a
million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small
things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased.
That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on
the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities,
relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful
no matter what happened in my life.
"Say thank you!" Those words from my friend and mentor Maya
Angelou turned my life around. One day about ten years ago, I was sitting in my
bathroom with the door closed and the toilet lid down, booing and
ahooing on the phone so uncontrollably that I was incoherent. "Stop it! Stop it
right now and say thank you!" Maya chided. "But - you don't
understand," I sobbed. To th is day, I can't remember what it was that had me so far
gone, which only proves the point Maya was trying to make. "I do
understand," she told me. "I want to hear you say it now. Out loud.
'Thank you.'"
Tentatively, I repeated it:
"Thank you - but what am I saying thank you for?"
"You're saying thank you," Maya said, "because your faith is so
strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get
through it.
You're saying thank you because you know that even in the eye of the
storm, God has put a rainbow in the clouds.
You're saying thank you because you know there's no problem created that can compare to the Creator of all things. Say thank you!"
So I did - and still do. Only now I do it every day.
I kept a gratitude journal, as Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests in
Simple Abundance, listing at least five things that I'm grateful for.
My list includes small pleasures: the feel of Kentucky bluegrass under my
feet (like damp silk); a walk in the woods with all nine of my dogs and
my cocker spaniel Sophie trying to keep up; cooking fried green
tomatoes with Stedman and eating them while they're hot; reading a good book and
knowing another awaits.
My thank-you list also includes things too important to take for
granted: an "okay" mammogram, friends who love me, 15 years at the same
job (and loving it more than the first day I started), a chance t o
share my vision for a better life, staying centered, having financial
security. I won't kid you, having money for all the things I want is a
blessing. But as I look back over my journals, which I've kept since I
was 15 years old, 99 per cent of what brought me real joy had nothing
to do with money . (It had a lot to do with food, however.)
It's not easy being grateful all the time. But it's when you feel
least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give
you:
PERSPECTIVE. Just knowing you have that daily list to complete allows
you to look at your day differently, with an awareness of every sweet
gesture and kind thought passed your way. When you learn to say thank
you, you see the world anew.
And as Meister Eckhart so eloquently stated:
"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'Thank
you', that would suffice."
Thank you for being a part of my life's journey. God loves you. Have a great day!

God and the Spider

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a
Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and
the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.
Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his
direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to
several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of
the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the
enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would
quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.
As he waited, he prayed, Lord, if it be your will, please protect
me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen.
After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw
close. He thought, Well, I guess the Lord is not going to help me
out of this one. Then he saw a spider begin to buil d a web over the
front of his cave.
As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the
while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the
opening of the cave.
He thought what I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent
me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor.
As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his
hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they
came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement,
however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on.
Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance,
his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while. Lord,
forgive me, prayed the young man. I had forgotten that in you a
spider's web is stronger than a brick wall.
We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to
forget the victories that God would work in our lives, som etimes in
the most surprising ways. As the great leader, Nehemiah, reminded
the people of Israel when they faced the task of rebuilding
Jerusalem, In God we will have success! [Nehemiah 2:20]
Remember: Whatever is happening in your life, with God, a mere
spiders web can become a brick wall of protection. Believe He is
with you always. Just speak His name through Jesus His son, and you
will see His great power and love for you.
Have an awesome day, and know that there's someone who thinks you're great.

The Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.'

It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is onderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been
exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go
see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband
agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

Too Good

Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see
the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow.
It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving
home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to
avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and
he is
so nice to me. I know when you
meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and
Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very
happy
together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so
old
these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't
stand in
the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he
has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his
own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really
hurt
anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our
friends
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray
that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy
can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling, her
father turned the sheet, and read:









PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.
I love you!!!

Very Touchy

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner,
the people were in and out of the cold.

The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell
many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said,
"Mister,
you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could
find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?

You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and
down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight.

Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."



The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the
street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come
out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in."

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the
door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said,
"John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son."

She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom
rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went
off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself:
John 3:16...I don't understand it, but it sure makes
a cold boy warm.



Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?"
He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of
days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food,"

The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of
wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat
any more. Then he thought to himself:
John 3:16...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure
makes a hungry boy full.



She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub
filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he
soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16...
I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy
clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my
whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in
front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.
The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room,
tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers
up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out
the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the
window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to
himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it but
it sure makes a tired boy rested.



The next morning the lady came back up and took him
down again to that same big table full of food. After he
ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom
rocker in front of the fireplace and
picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you
understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He
replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last
night when the policeman told me to use it,"
She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain
to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace,
he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there
and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure
makes a lost boy feel safe.



You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was
willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do
such a thing. I don't understand
the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus
suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept
Jesus on the cross till the end.
I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten
Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.

The Silversmith

Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to study the
scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came
upon a remarkable expression in the third verse:

"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver (Malachi
3:3)"

One lady proposed to visit a silversmith, and report to them on
what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without
telling the object of her errand, begged the silversmith to tell
her about the process of refining silver.

After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "But Sir, do you
sit while the work of refining is going on?"

"Oh, yes madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eyes
steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for
refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be
injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the
expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." God
sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is
steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love
are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come
at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can
endure.

Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "When do you
know the process is complete?"

"Why, that is quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can
see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."

-- Author Unknown

CAN YOU SLEEP WHEN THE WIND BLOWS?

Years ago a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He
constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant
to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms
that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and
crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a
steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past
middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the
farmer asked him.
"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.
Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help,
hired him.

The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk,
and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work. Then one night
the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the
farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's
sleeping quarters.

He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie
things down before they blow away!" The little man rolled over in
bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind
blows."

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the
spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his
amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered
with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in
the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly
secured.

Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer
then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed
to also sleep while the wind blew.

MORAL: When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically,
you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through
your life? The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he
had secured the farm against the storm. We, as believers in
Christ, secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding
ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand, we just
need to hold His hand to have peace in the midst of the storms.