26 Beautiful One-liners

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.

6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.

9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. We don't change God's message - His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God! But only in an advisory position.

16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.

18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.

25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called...

26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.

FROGS

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"




The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!






At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?




A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!






The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be

negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!

Pass this message on to 5 "tiny frogs" you care about.

Give them some motivation!!!


Most people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart
In two days tomorrow will be yesterday. Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for writing to you... I have no news to tell you.... nor any problems to discuss with you.... or gossip to tell you... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of you... and I would like to share these thoughts with you...
MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...



To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.

You have been Tagged by the Froggy, which means you are a great friend!!

36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of ad-vice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between
despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most.
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general
manager of the universe.
35. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

His plan

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner. I like
planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.

But some things are beyond planning. And life doesn't always turn out
as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful. You plan to be acclaimed and
successful. You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved
forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world


You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered. Sometimes if
you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times,
what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.
Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans - especially
when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God
sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger.
True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishe
s us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that
God will never abandon us nor send something
we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of
ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can
learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.

going bananas

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a
banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose
combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and
substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two
bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No
wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading
athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can
also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and
conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst
people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating
a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of
protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you
relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains re
gulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemog
lobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in pot
assium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So
much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the
banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to
reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were h
elped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast,
break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has
shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making
pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help
restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without
resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make
a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the
stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood
sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if
you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep b
lood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try
rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many
people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and
irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous
system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in A
ustria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like
chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients,
researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-
pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced
food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking
on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal d
isorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only
raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler
cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by
coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling"
fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of
expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat
bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers b
ecause they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. Th
e B6,
B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in
them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the
heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water
balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby
reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help
of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medic
ine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of
death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to
kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the
wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place
with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for mny ills. When you
compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the
carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A
and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich
in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its
time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a
day keeps the doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I
will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE
of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry
cloth. Amazing fruit.

Say, Thank You By Oprah Winfrey

I live in the space of thankfulness - and I have been rewarded a
million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small
things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased.
That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on
the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities,
relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful
no matter what happened in my life.
"Say thank you!" Those words from my friend and mentor Maya
Angelou turned my life around. One day about ten years ago, I was sitting in my
bathroom with the door closed and the toilet lid down, booing and
ahooing on the phone so uncontrollably that I was incoherent. "Stop it! Stop it
right now and say thank you!" Maya chided. "But - you don't
understand," I sobbed. To th is day, I can't remember what it was that had me so far
gone, which only proves the point Maya was trying to make. "I do
understand," she told me. "I want to hear you say it now. Out loud.
'Thank you.'"
Tentatively, I repeated it:
"Thank you - but what am I saying thank you for?"
"You're saying thank you," Maya said, "because your faith is so
strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get
through it.
You're saying thank you because you know that even in the eye of the
storm, God has put a rainbow in the clouds.
You're saying thank you because you know there's no problem created that can compare to the Creator of all things. Say thank you!"
So I did - and still do. Only now I do it every day.
I kept a gratitude journal, as Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests in
Simple Abundance, listing at least five things that I'm grateful for.
My list includes small pleasures: the feel of Kentucky bluegrass under my
feet (like damp silk); a walk in the woods with all nine of my dogs and
my cocker spaniel Sophie trying to keep up; cooking fried green
tomatoes with Stedman and eating them while they're hot; reading a good book and
knowing another awaits.
My thank-you list also includes things too important to take for
granted: an "okay" mammogram, friends who love me, 15 years at the same
job (and loving it more than the first day I started), a chance t o
share my vision for a better life, staying centered, having financial
security. I won't kid you, having money for all the things I want is a
blessing. But as I look back over my journals, which I've kept since I
was 15 years old, 99 per cent of what brought me real joy had nothing
to do with money . (It had a lot to do with food, however.)
It's not easy being grateful all the time. But it's when you feel
least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give
you:
PERSPECTIVE. Just knowing you have that daily list to complete allows
you to look at your day differently, with an awareness of every sweet
gesture and kind thought passed your way. When you learn to say thank
you, you see the world anew.
And as Meister Eckhart so eloquently stated:
"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'Thank
you', that would suffice."
Thank you for being a part of my life's journey. God loves you. Have a great day!

God and the Spider

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a
Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and
the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.
Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his
direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to
several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of
the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the
enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would
quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.
As he waited, he prayed, Lord, if it be your will, please protect
me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen.
After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw
close. He thought, Well, I guess the Lord is not going to help me
out of this one. Then he saw a spider begin to buil d a web over the
front of his cave.
As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the
while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the
opening of the cave.
He thought what I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent
me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor.
As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his
hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they
came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement,
however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on.
Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance,
his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while. Lord,
forgive me, prayed the young man. I had forgotten that in you a
spider's web is stronger than a brick wall.
We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to
forget the victories that God would work in our lives, som etimes in
the most surprising ways. As the great leader, Nehemiah, reminded
the people of Israel when they faced the task of rebuilding
Jerusalem, In God we will have success! [Nehemiah 2:20]
Remember: Whatever is happening in your life, with God, a mere
spiders web can become a brick wall of protection. Believe He is
with you always. Just speak His name through Jesus His son, and you
will see His great power and love for you.
Have an awesome day, and know that there's someone who thinks you're great.

The Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.'

It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is onderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been
exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go
see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband
agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

Too Good

Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see
the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow.
It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving
home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to
avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and
he is
so nice to me. I know when you
meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and
Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very
happy
together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so
old
these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't
stand in
the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he
has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his
own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really
hurt
anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our
friends
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray
that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy
can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still
trembling, her
father turned the sheet, and read:









PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.
I love you!!!